She gave up trying to express herself because nobody would understand, they don't give a fuck about how she feels. In their eyes, she's nothing but someone who has been disrespectful, someone who's caused trouble and someone who has no sense of forgiveness. She's done, she's a wrecked child, both inside out.
What happens if they see this? Oh, they would only think she's a drama queen, she's out of her fucking mind. No, she doesn't care; this is for herself.
They don't know what she had done to herself, all those time after each fight among themselves. Instead of erasing the emotional pain, she turned it into physical pain. No, she doesn't want to let them know because she could still use it as a way to breath, even though she has long escaped from it. Falling from one black hole to another, she wonders when she'll be free, really free.
It's not much that she's asking for; she just wants them to understand. But to understand would be very very difficult, when she's at fault most of the time. She wonders if they had pour everything out onto a table, would there still be today?
She couldn't hold everything in anymore, she needed to move on. But now, she's stuck in another black hole where she couldn't move, at all. No matter how hard she screams for help, nobody hears. It's a silent plea, only she knows.
