One of the things that shouldn't exist in a relationship is doubt. Doubts about your feeling towards your partner, or vice versa. Doubts if he's cheating on you. Doubts if he cares. All these, brings down a relationship.
Unfortunately, 'doubts' paid me a visit. I doubt if I still love him. The sparks that was once there now is gone. When it comes to this point of the relationship, I've no idea what to do. Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe I'm just stressed out. The one question I've been constantly asking,
"Is he really the one I want or need?"
Voices in my head are messing me up. One more chance, just one more chance they tell me.
Is this chance worth it?
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Doubts
World drifts apart, so do we. And yes, we are drifting apart. It's me, its not you.
They say, love's like a pail of hot water. As time goes by, it turns cold. Maybe my love for you has lost it's fire. The fire that once burn with a fiery red flame now is on the edge of being put out.
I never did question my decision in the first place. Maybe I should have. I was selfish because I didn't want to throw the chance away and I did love you. I'm not sure if I still do. Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe. All those maybes. Will they give me an answer?
I realized that I want someone different. I want someone who acts older and much mature than I do. I want to be the one who is treated like a child instead of the one being the 'adult'. I want to be patted on the head, and not pat someone's head. I need to feel secured, loved, pampered .
Question is, did I make the WRONG choice?
Mr Doubt visited me. He questioned my decisions, questioned my feelings. I have no answers. And I'm lost…
They say, love's like a pail of hot water. As time goes by, it turns cold. Maybe my love for you has lost it's fire. The fire that once burn with a fiery red flame now is on the edge of being put out.
I never did question my decision in the first place. Maybe I should have. I was selfish because I didn't want to throw the chance away and I did love you. I'm not sure if I still do. Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe. All those maybes. Will they give me an answer?
I realized that I want someone different. I want someone who acts older and much mature than I do. I want to be the one who is treated like a child instead of the one being the 'adult'. I want to be patted on the head, and not pat someone's head. I need to feel secured, loved, pampered .
Question is, did I make the WRONG choice?
Mr Doubt visited me. He questioned my decisions, questioned my feelings. I have no answers. And I'm lost…
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Change
Have you ever thought of doing something that could change the world? You don't have to do something big. A small action is sometimes able to change many lives.
For example, if you see someone who is in need, you could do something for that person. Don't expect for anything in return. And sometimes, the other person won't even say thank you. Instead, tell him/her to do the same to others some day.
To be honest, I wish I could do more while I was holding the Community Director post. It's good to know that what you did leave impacts on other people.
While we were visiting the handicapped children home, there was this girl there who was suffering from a kind of disease that causes muscles dysfunction. She's 17, the same age as us fifth formers. Because of this disease, she could not talk, she could not eat ANY solid food, she could not walk and her size was that of a 3 or 4 years old child. Her name is Mun Mun and she has been like this for her whole 17 years of life. What's worse is, she was placed in a home. Any home but not one where her family members are near.
Our hearts sank to the bottom when we knew about her. Her everyday-food is just milk. Sometimes, she can't even drink. When I was holding her tiny hand, I wished so much that I could do something to help her. She caught us in tears.
The feedbacks on the visit were positive. But it's not the feedbacks I want, it's the result of the visit on people's life. They are the unfortunate ones. They were born with disabilities but they live on and some even with wide smiles. So why can't we, the fortunate ones live life without complaints? Why can't we have the determination and resilience and courage? Why are we not satisfied with the things we have?
We have the chance to have education. We are able to consume solid and good food. We can talk, walk, read, dance and many more. All I'm saying is that we have to be thankful with the things we have. And thank God for the life that He gave.
I don't deny that I am not satisfied sometimes, but I'm trying my best to change. So can you.
For example, if you see someone who is in need, you could do something for that person. Don't expect for anything in return. And sometimes, the other person won't even say thank you. Instead, tell him/her to do the same to others some day.
To be honest, I wish I could do more while I was holding the Community Director post. It's good to know that what you did leave impacts on other people.
While we were visiting the handicapped children home, there was this girl there who was suffering from a kind of disease that causes muscles dysfunction. She's 17, the same age as us fifth formers. Because of this disease, she could not talk, she could not eat ANY solid food, she could not walk and her size was that of a 3 or 4 years old child. Her name is Mun Mun and she has been like this for her whole 17 years of life. What's worse is, she was placed in a home. Any home but not one where her family members are near.
Our hearts sank to the bottom when we knew about her. Her everyday-food is just milk. Sometimes, she can't even drink. When I was holding her tiny hand, I wished so much that I could do something to help her. She caught us in tears.
The feedbacks on the visit were positive. But it's not the feedbacks I want, it's the result of the visit on people's life. They are the unfortunate ones. They were born with disabilities but they live on and some even with wide smiles. So why can't we, the fortunate ones live life without complaints? Why can't we have the determination and resilience and courage? Why are we not satisfied with the things we have?
We have the chance to have education. We are able to consume solid and good food. We can talk, walk, read, dance and many more. All I'm saying is that we have to be thankful with the things we have. And thank God for the life that He gave.
I don't deny that I am not satisfied sometimes, but I'm trying my best to change. So can you.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Farewell
High school will definitely be one of the biggest and most important part, or memory in life. On the first day of secondary one, we were all hyped up and waited anxiously in the Trinity Hall. Throughout the years, we did things we'd never imagined doing. Friends drifted apart, exam results sucked, breaking the rules like nobody's business.
But those are the highlights of our schooling years, besides achieving excellent results. And I'm sure, on the last day of school, we'll be feeling the same as the first day. Heck, we're ending it in the place we first started, MGS Trinity Hall. The difference is, we've left our footprints in the school. We've held posts that changed the school's clubs and societies. We've joined sports and represented our school and made everyone proud. And most of all, we've gained experiences from our mistakes. I dare say that I WILL miss school.
The Interact Club had a farewell and installation today. We, as the old board of 2011/2012 handed over and are officially retired. (: The new board of 2012/2013 was installed.
I was an interact member since secondary two. And last year, I was assigned the post Community Director. At first, I didn't cope well because as the director, you have to come up with ideas like where to or how to carry out community projects.
Sum it all up, the work is hard! But I loved my job. And I'm starting to miss it already. All these years have been good. Negative things changed me and I'm glad.
"Once an interactor, always an interactor"
But those are the highlights of our schooling years, besides achieving excellent results. And I'm sure, on the last day of school, we'll be feeling the same as the first day. Heck, we're ending it in the place we first started, MGS Trinity Hall. The difference is, we've left our footprints in the school. We've held posts that changed the school's clubs and societies. We've joined sports and represented our school and made everyone proud. And most of all, we've gained experiences from our mistakes. I dare say that I WILL miss school.
The Interact Club had a farewell and installation today. We, as the old board of 2011/2012 handed over and are officially retired. (: The new board of 2012/2013 was installed.
I was an interact member since secondary two. And last year, I was assigned the post Community Director. At first, I didn't cope well because as the director, you have to come up with ideas like where to or how to carry out community projects.
Sum it all up, the work is hard! But I loved my job. And I'm starting to miss it already. All these years have been good. Negative things changed me and I'm glad.
"Once an interactor, always an interactor"
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