Everything comes and goes . . .

". . .memories are like bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces. . ."

I had a dream when I was having a nap. In my dream, I was in someone's arms and he planted a soft kiss on my forehead before he disappeared. That feeling is so surreal till I can still recall it even now.

Memories are a part of us; they'll never disappear, they'll never leave us. Some are bitter while some are sweet. Something brought me back to the time when I was with him. It led me to our old messages and wall posts on Facebook and I was wondering, why did I like this guy? A year, we've been together but in the end, I ended it. I know clearly why I did that but why didn't I give the both of us another chance to try and re-ignite that spark between us? And I thought maybe there's this someone who's place in my heart can never be replaced by anyone. . .no matter who I'm with, that someone will always be there.

Even though its been quite long, I remember every moment we had. At times, I really really question myself; why is my memory so good? Its agonizing especially when you remember so much from the past and sometimes you just re-live them in your dreams, in other ways. I don't mean to say that my past is really bad but they're bad enough to cause me anxiety. Most of us can't even remember moments that we had with someone, but I remember even some words that we've said to each other. I remember having to explain to him why. . .

I don't know if anybody wishes to have a memory power like mine, but sometimes I wish I could just erase most of them. Its as though I wanna refresh my memory and start again, new. I don't want all these experiences, painful experiences and I just want to try to start new. When you've experienced enough on certain matters, you'll question yourself even more in the same matter or worse still, you'll try to run away from it. As much as I want someone to hold me like what happened in my dream, I don't want to get hurt or experience the pain of having someone leaving me.